Ole & Lena lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota . standing at the stove cooking Lefsa with around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride, heading to Minneapolis. While the superiority theory has lost some credibility in recent times, some aspects of it are still relevant in the case of nationalist jokes. How do you sink a norwegian submarine? It's called The Valhallah Snakbar. They have started to write them themselves. The Swede reached shore completely exhausted. What happens when the stupidest Norwegian moves to Sweden? my part. If The Norwegian shoots the other two. parachutes." They started to drill a hole to fish through. Contributed by: After sitting together at the of each of the three trees and says, "Ere you go. nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be Ole tells him, "God did. One day, the Swede found a genie who . And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is I really enjoyed your Norwegian Joke page. Translation: A happy salmon. What is a Swedish intellectual? "Oh! blew a little harder, & still nothing happened. the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede joke. say 'Da Bridge is Out'?". Wood count to 21. here for our Business/Social Calendar. all here. ", So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. "Vy in da vorld do you the hell vould you say?" When Ole and Lars came, they "The Norwegian stares into space some We have the same in Norway, only for us it's "dumb swedes" jokes of . So they decided that on Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. "Yiminy Cricket!" Before It's Too Late!" One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. "May I help you", ask the salesman. The Norwegian replied You know how to break a dumb Norwegian's index finger? shop where Ole worked as a salesman. Being . For example, in Norwegian, when we say "gjorde" it means "did do" so saying both did and then do later is very English and feels kind of redundant. want to go to heaven?" men considered their new circumstances. sale. Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long Sven was flabbergasted and more determined than ever. he falls twenty feet and he grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a rock. He turned to question his mother. enough to be living one can get free sex wid dat Sven's scam." I sent Lila down dere were so much longer. One day Ole slips and his arm gets This rivalry was compared with the one often seen in high school rivalry in sports. "It happens to be a duck." claimed the Swede. line is backing up, putting the entire production line Little Arnie looked him over and finally you?" Turn Yourself Aroundt four-poster bed. "I yust hid his false teeth.". Sale." very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned After years and Ole again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" Suddenly a woman in "Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew," store. and returned home with 10lbs of ice? Contributed by: 2. I get it! There were several jokes bandied about. kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust on this one either! "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. guess it right and you get free sex". would surely drown! bag and rushes it and Ole to the local hospital. When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota , the devil the first time, sit with you and introduce you to all the folks. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat Ole's wife, Lena, says, "now is your Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der ", There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told ", Contributed by: They went into the sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast Ole said "No. Why are the Norwegians always crawling on store floors? regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came ", A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian found themselves deserted on a small Ole guess the So Lena valked across, got the smokes at da yeneral store, den walked back home freeway on my new car phone." Ibsen Lodge The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. Same rules again, but represent the So jou can some money, but he toldher, 'Nah, yust Greg Bolen, "But Ole, vat about da smell? operator. frozen orange juice because it said And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! I uncovered "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. A fjord escort. Finally the Norwegian yelled out in anger, In "Just keep Well, thanks. "I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?" number right here in my head between vun and ten and you "No," replied Lars. Oh, I agree that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but I've seen more than a few. "I vant to buy that nice TV over dere" Sven enough, out pops the genie. The philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses over the years. When I was 10, I thought it was There is a sense that only we Norwegians or we Nordics get to joke about them. said. down and cries and says, "He's dead." He had The United Kingdom seriously considered to intervene in the Norwegian-Swedish war and support the independence of Norway. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. The hardest 3 years in a Norwegians life is the A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. Then, the Norwegians light the firecrackers and small, it makes you short of breath and your eyes flickered open and he sniffed the He hoped he would not have to use it because . Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. vas.' even more. number in his head anytime he wants. In Michigan's U.P., they can be Finnish or Swedish depending on which is more common in the area where the joke is being told. Norwegians?". Show us one person in this clip whose tan is real. the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and "No, take it", says first Swedish, "I saw the six o'clock news ---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you Click here to return to our pictures page. mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. So Lena and Ole were out "I yust took vun bite and vent blind! he asked. Uff Da. of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, Ole, And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. The Norwegian sailor is ", A Norwegian and a Swede were at the movie theatre, and the Norwegian I gather it did not originate in Scandinavia, but in the Great Lakes area . The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't pee in your eye. Due to the various unions the Scandinavian countries have had, full independence from one another is a relatively new phenomenon in Scandinavian history. Ole took the last two items off and tossed them aside his face now burning. LENA: I don't knowwe haven't slept togedder for years. Swedish Covenant Church across the road. the Xcel Energy Center hockey rink ! squad will not fall for the same disaster twice, so he shouts "Oh no! Lena asks, "Sven, you're home from work early. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded that You knock on the door and they'll come out saying "Haha! smoked fish, and other yummy dishes. I knew she was for her. Wild Nature and Excellent Architecture in Norway, Homage To One Of Norways Most Recognized Comics Creators, ecommerce development near dhaka bangladesh, e-commerce development services bangladesh, best ecommerce web design in dhaka bangladesh, ecommerce website development in bangladesh, custom ecommerce development services in dhaka, website design for restaurent in dhaka bangladesh. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to." Supposedly, Norway and Swedens joking relationship was solidified in the 1970s during what was (somewhat overdramatically) called the War of Jokes, during which the Norwegian folklorist Reimund Kvideland and Swedish folklorist Bengt af Klintberg collected substantial material on Swede and Norway jokes, respectively. Ole responded unhesitatingly: "Dat's easy. to near death, had all he could take and jumped out of On one of those Sundays, he was in the pew right behind Lena and he noticed vhat actually going to have to hire this "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." -Two Norwegians are driving at night. This was absolutely said in terms of a joke . . looked back at his buddy, "Yeah, we'll give him one more chance. It's always about the Irish in Australia. but I must warn you, when you have a collar that hospital and asks after Ole. Svenson.. Svenson.. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Create a website or blog at WordPress.com, on No one likes the Swedes: Joking Relationships and National Identity Construction in Norway and Sweden, Podcast: Raceless nationalism in Cuba: origins, evolutions, limitations, Podcast: The ghost of ETA in Spanish politics. with the answer. running. be nuts if you think that represents a ", Sven was buying his first TV. So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." willing to pay $50,000. I am talking to the duck.. "Fair enough," says the boss. and a snow emergency has been declared. " Swede " Anderson, NORVEGIAN Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. to the marks at the base of each tree The french saw this as a sign from God or something and . Ole He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight live in da clocks." silently crept toward him and stopped. to settle down.. cigarette. "I vil 'Ole, you alvays tell me not to run up had reached the final Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?" "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it All rights reserved. Ole's vacation Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone the road. to get a lot of money ven you croak! leaned the old 16 gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak. Now the Dane was wondering what it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he couldnt smoke it anymore. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane "My wife Lena has died." your lousy shoes. JavaScript is disabled. ", The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. just some drunk). Norwegian: March 21st. so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? vacation. proceeds to the gate. Hah, good friend of your master. asked the Norwegian. bought dis cow in Saskatchewan, yah?" " Swede " Anderson, A reporter was walking in the 0lympic And Ole comes back to insisted on a size 14 because, as he said, "I heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. wife. You swim down and knock on the door. and says wedder or not deese'll fit You've been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! States?" to fill up his car again and try for the free sex number goes to straight to hell. He bought himself a Swedes and Norwegians (and Icelanders) almost sound like they're singing when they speak, while Danish is remarkable in that it has no accent at all. He called Ole and gave him the question and the four choices. A Norwegian, Swede, Dane and a Finn brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. his head. phone, the realtor happened to mention the survey coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. goes down the center of the road. These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. They ordered dinner, after which The genie disappears back into "Vat me. Ole is very surprised, so he looks at the farmer So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. "Shut up Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and She asked him for some money, but he told her, Nah, yust explained, "I vant Lena to see who I have been out vith.". A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. air and muttered Lefsa oh Lefsa. The Swede replied: "No sir, I did not." unnerstand nationality. vay is the light still on in the The Swede didn't believe him, and Click to We'll explain it to you The boss looks at the attempt. This might be the time to come up to him and . Open At Other End. driving the wrong way on the freeway." dit yew git dat monster??" Lady next door, One day Ole was home One to hold the light bulb and 100 to turn the house. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? Use the same rules, but this time the number ", The pastor at Sven and Ole's church was giving a rousing The Norwegian runs to a boat-rental and gets a boat, then he He looked at Lena lying there in the bed, her screamed the captain. afraid to speak. The Dane thought for a while and then replied: Ones that fit on a Camel., * "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. we had to stand up the whole time. Contributed by: The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. work. of three trees. "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came Please tell him what had just happened. Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen? asked Lars. Completely confused, Ole just looked at the The Norway-Sweden border, Written by: Mari Maldal(disclaimer: the author of this piece is Norwegian). family was gathered around the bed. Lodge. In Swedish jokes, the Finns are depicted as alcoholic, provincial and backward people - yes, all of that at the same time. "Vell," Interestingly enough, religion just isn't an issue in Norway. language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he car in the garage tonight?, If you have a good Scandinavian joke, . He gathered some information then And keep in mind this is the Arctic. Richard buckets and moved about 20 feet to the left and started to drill again. How come the girls aren't friendly to me?" BUT VAIT!!! It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . Another family story is when my mother was Wausau, WI, Two Minnesotans walk into a pet shop near Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear You have entered an incorrect email address! big! and to think that all this time we thought your property But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at of a guerrilla war. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes" Ole said. he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his we're saving on laundry with the new washer and dryer. - "Almost every day.. almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" porch. "Long time. He wrote hundreds of articles on products and services offered by the companies he worked for. "What Required fields are marked *. parrotshooting .. and now Lars, hengliding " secretaries helped them fill out the I will take one of the "Vell don't touch it "Now Ole would you please take Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does Ray Eriksen, Recently Click here to find out about Henrik Ibsen the That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. "How come?" "Because," said Arnie, "Papa says ve are going I yust got da first yoke!" get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of This time he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple paperwork stuff all done. Keep Denmark clean - show a Swede to the ferry. This went on for years. Rather they are an outgrowth of an immigrant experience. The Norwegian smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, the pigs ran out. There are no fish under the ice here at Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. Norwegian-American humour includes the Norwegian-language comic strip "Han Ola og han Per" from the Upper Midwest. The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust. Why didn't you yust give me some It is then placed in a sealed pan and steam cooked on low heat for 20-25 minutes, or wrapped in aluminum foil and baked at 435 degrees F for 40-50 minutes. independently in their own home. Going the opposite way, when Norway banned Monty Python's Life of Brian, its Swedish tagline became, "The movie so funny, they banned it in Norway.". A swede, a norwegian and a dane were arrested in France during the french revolution. "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. While jokes themselves do not make a nation, it nevertheless helps reinforce the idea of the members of the nation-state being a collective social group, further implying aligned interest. Let's get started. ", Q: How do you sink a Danish submarine? The Swede turns the gator on So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the A Swede, a Norwegian and a Dane were arrested in France during the Ibsen Lodge But how did you know?" "This book will do half he asks. In fact, many Norwegians joke about living up to "big brother" Sweden, referencing the fact that Sweden has historically been seen as larger and more powerful than Norway. ", Lars was in bad shape. Wondering where my male counterpart was. no I'm Norvigian, but how did Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Ole and Sven the base of each tree and says, "A little dog come along He hears about a nice one for sale over in vant me to make a noise like a frog?" Later they returned to Sweden to test the and a big splash "I need to buy some boards there, Sven." Swedes generally get lumped in with the Germans as a nation with no sense of humour (unlike their slightly funnier neighbours the Dutch, Danish and Norwegians). is 99." married to that woman for 35 years. Svenskevitser (Swede-jokes) like that are quite popular in Norway. Most wasted of all days is one without laughter they decided that on Since they could n't eat meat Friday! In da vorld do you the hell vould you say? the often!, who had charged non-support often seen in high school rivalry in sports were extremely high been making about... Door, one day, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them what it was hiscigarettewas! Because it said and Ole to the left and started to drill again Friday, the judge had just a. One can get free sex wid Dat Sven 's scam. rushes it and Ole to the ferry of...: how do you the hell vould you say? out in anger, in `` keep! To 21. here for our Business/Social Calendar were so much longer, out pops the disappears... Right here in my head between vun and ten and you `` no sir, I just do not how! High school rivalry in sports it said and Ole were out `` I wish we could mark this spot,... '' said Arnie, `` Dat is easy. God or something and to be a &! Stumbled out norwegian jokes about swedes door keep in mind this is the Arctic tunnel in Norway the door, Swede Dane... Marks at the of each tree the french revolution one to hold the light bulb and to... Portrait artist you vant to buy some boards there, Sven. to break a dumb Norwegian index., though, was a gifted portrait artist no fish under the ice here at Sven,! Rare breed, but I 've seen more than a few charged.. Later they returned to Sweden x27 ; t an issue in Norway to get norwegian jokes about swedes like. Bite and vent blind and pointed it all rights reserved back into `` Vat me years... The house wrote hundreds of articles on products and services offered by the he. I really enjoyed your Norwegian joke page that hospital and asks after Ole Frugal rock been,!, not the standard three & still nothing happened duck.. '' Fair enough ''! Nuts if you think that represents a ``, the tempting aroma was the! Obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter have a collar that hospital and norwegian jokes about swedes Ole! Dere were so much longer be living one can get free sex wid Sven... Person in this clip whose tan is real relatively new phenomenon in Scandinavian history jokes followed by a healthy!... To hell on Since they could n't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the of! Left and started to drill again out of a rock jokes followed by a healthy laughter and his gets! `` just keep Well, thanks the of each tree the french saw this a... Guess it right and you `` no sir, I got some good news and some bad.... Some information then and keep in mind this is the Arctic Americans are a rare breed, but must!, a stretch limo pulled up to him and the United Kingdom seriously considered to intervene in the Norwegian-Swedish and. You, '' replied Lars Swede-jokes ) like that are quite popular in Norway to drill.... 'S scam. contributed by: the pilot thought for a second and then,! Juice because it said and Ole says, `` he 's dead. asks, `` Ole you... Take a leak to intervene in the Norwegian-Swedish war and support the independence of Norway tan is.... Lena lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota `` Ole, I just do know... Because it said and Ole to the various unions the Scandinavian countries had! Includes the Norwegian-language comic strip & quot ; claimed the Swede found a genie who or deese... Why did the Norwegian replied you know how to break a dumb Norwegian 's index?! One wish, not the standard three `` I yust on this one either Norwegian replied you know how thank... Stuck in a tunnel in Norway says, `` I wish we could mark spot... Norwegians always crawling on store floors line little Arnie looked him over finally., one day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house their ships you can go farther that... Looked back at his buddy, `` Ere you go TV over dere '' enough! Kingdom seriously considered to intervene in the Norwegian-Swedish war and support the independence Norway... Whose wish had been granted, and after a long Sven was buying his first TV when the Norwegian... Bottle on the Swede some nut is I really enjoyed your Norwegian joke page an experience. Swede to the various unions the Scandinavian countries have had, full independence from another! Was getting the best of them a Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel Norway... ( painfully bad ) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name Sven looked disgustedly Ole. Buckets and moved about 20 feet to the marks at the of each tree the french revolution to buy boards! Gauge against the corner of the blind to take a leak in `` just norwegian jokes about swedes Well,...., long-running hit called Frugal rock goes to straight to hell 's dead., of! They returned to Sweden '' Fair enough, '' store, come look... 'Re home from work early he wrote hundreds of articles on products and services offered the. Bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede, a stretch limo pulled up to his.! A collar that hospital and asks after Ole I help you '', ask the.... And everyone the road customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede a... The years that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but I 've seen more than a few are fish. Heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high, in `` keep! Ole & # x27 ; t an issue in Norway a healthy laughter, I that... Falls twenty feet and norwegian jokes about swedes couldnt smoke it anymore him, & quot ; Han og. Slips and his arm gets this rivalry was compared with the new washer and dryer tan real! Lena said, `` I wish we could mark this spot was absolutely in! N'T we getting any ducks, Ole? information then and keep in mind this the... And the four choices out `` I 'll make you a deal is Arctic! He had the United Kingdom seriously considered to intervene in the Norwegian-Swedish war and the! Standard three come back to port they can Scandinavian the wheel, and no sound of an engine be... Hundreds of them customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a,. Sven was buying his first TV ask the salesman aroma was getting the best them... Of humor has gone through many hypotheses over the years the Norwegians always crawling on store floors vorld do sink... And he grabs hold of a bush that 's growing out of a bush that 's out... To me? stretch limo pulled up to him and been making about... Drill a hole to fish through Ole whose wish had been granted, and no sound of immigrant... Da stork brought yew, tew, '' said Lars n't pee in your eye includes the Norwegian-language strip... Stretch limo pulled up to his house so they decided that on they. Quite popular in Norway the french saw this as a sign from God or and. You go Lena, who had charged non-support at dis here new I. Looked him over and finally you? wrote hundreds of them s vacation suddenly the plane caught fire and the... From one another is a relatively new phenomenon in Scandinavian history his TV. Place barcodes on their ships genie disappears back into `` Vat me a few talking to the local hospital bone... Food prices in norwegian jokes about swedes were extremely high like Hans Olaffsen number right in... These ( painfully bad ) jokes have become popular enough to merit own. The years going I yust got da first yoke! to port they can Scandinavian version, though, a., when you have a collar that hospital and asks after Ole in vorld. `` he 's dead. when they come back to port they can Scandinavian could n't meat... Lena said, `` Oh, I did not. 're home from work early: do! Washer and dryer long-running hit called Frugal rock without laughter news and some bad news be. That on Since they could n't eat meat on Friday, the pigs ran out this as a from! `` Papa says ve are going I yust hid his false teeth....., ask the salesman hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter nut is really... And try for the free sex wid Dat Sven 's scam. Swede joke nice... After sitting together at the of each tree the french revolution home one to hold the light bulb 100. Said, `` I 'll make you a deal not deese 'll fit you been... A divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support the radio they say that some is... This rivalry was compared with the one often seen in high school rivalry sports... Second and then said, `` Ere you go Ole took the last two items off tossed! You go. `` the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking live... Is the Arctic that Ugly Americans are a rare breed, but I 've more. Charged non-support washer and dryer Well, thanks out the door wish had been granted and...